Why Dry July?

I've never really considered my relationship with alcohol before. If you had asked me a few days ago, I would have told you I didn't really have a relationship with it. I mean, I could enjoy red wine on a cold winter's night out but, surely, that was it? I mean, I date a muslim man ffs - we don't drink as a couple so it's just not something that I do. So, yeah, my relationship with alcohol is like that of a 4th cousin - there is one, but it doesn't really count and it's certainly not part of my nearest and dearest things to do. 

Which is why I'm terribly confused as to how it was I found myself sitting on my toilet at 3am Sunday morning, half dressed and covered in red wine vomit. 


How does this happen? I'm not a qualified medical practitioner, but I am able to think critically about my own actions. So I've spent the last 1.5 days eating dry toast and contemplating the REALITY of my relationship with alcohol. Here's what I've decided:
- I'm not used to it so I don't know how to handle it. When I'm drunk I'm not familiar with the point at which I should say "enough now... make the next one a glass of water", so I just keep drinking. 
- I'm easily influenced. If someone hands me a drink, I won't say "no thank, just the mineral water for me!". I'll drink it and then shout the next round. 
- I'm a fun/funny drunk and I think that the social acceptance and/or overcoming potentially awkward social situations (ie who do I know at this birthday party? nobody. *sigh*) is attractive (read: intoxicating) for me. 
- I'm getting older. My body is getting older. I cannot afford to behave the way I used to with drugs and alcohol because recovery is now a 2 day process. And it's incredibly unattractive and anti-social. 


I'm sure there are far deeper psychological issues that a professional could identify me as having. I'm not chasing a diagnosis though - I'm chasing a new relationship with the grog. So I've set myself a challenge...

I'm spending the month of July reassessing my relationship with alcohol, particularly in social situations. This month I'm going to HAVE to say no. I'm going to have to test myself to overcome the awkward moments using my own social skills, and not the type that comes from the bottom of a bottle of wine. 

I'll let you know how it goes... Feel free to click on the pic and sponsor me - all money will go to supporting people with real problems (ie adult cancer patients, not whiners like me) at the Royal Melbourne Hospital. 

It's Mengel, not mongrel - V2.0

Well I'm now 30.... almost 31. If I go through the "to do" list of life, I find I can't tick off many of the boxes: I'm not paid to do what I love (in fact, I'm not sure what it IS I'm supposed to love doing yet); I'm not married; I've no children (although I don't take the pill, so let's just say I play a little Russian Roulette with this idea); I struggle with my body image and weight (despite my best efforts) and there's not enough money in my bank account to fund a yearly escape to SE Asia. In fact, the furthest I've made it this year has been to Brisbane and, even then, I flew with Jetstar. Eeep! Grim (with a liberal dose of self-pity).

So I've decided to revisit my blog because writing is, apparently, something I'm not too shabby at doing. I'm hoping it will be a magic cure-all for the various parts of my life I feel a varying degrees of dissatisfaction about. Honestly, I've always felt quite unsure - I tend to begin a project with the knowledge that it will probably not succeed - so why try at all? Terribly pessimistic, particularly for someone who tries to encourage and support her friends and family through every venture, no matter how bizarre! At the moment, one of my dearest friends is about to launch her own women's group website and run monthly meetings (how awesome is that?). The project is called Platform of Women and I reckon it's pretty kewl - the idea of the group is for ordinary women to make new friends and, in the process, share their stories. I know how easy it is to feel disconnected in a city like Melbourne (especially if you're not born and bred here!) and I know that having an organised monthly meeting will be something that's really important in remaining connected for many, many women in our community. It's the look of total satisfaction on her face when she talks about this group/project that makes me think "I need something like this". So, I will blog again. And the blog will evolve and morph as according to my mood, my ambitions, my successes and my failures. We will see how it ends up - I might end up just writing about antique teaspoons - who knows?

So friends, welcome to my NEW old blog. Let's see what happens eh?

Dani x